Never Too Late

What was I thinking?
With my yet-to-be-managed spine challenges and medications tending to assault my balance, I decided now would the perfect time to honor my long postponed passion for ballet. Really. What was I thinking?
Three of my young friends and I petitioned a local ballet school to offer a beginner ballet class for adults. Let me quickly clarify: my "young" friends are the approximate the age of my son. But they kindly included me in this adventure. Ballet rivals pilates and yoga for strengthening the core, when properly done, so how could that be bad, right? And a strong core will definitely help with my spine in the long run. (I use this fact as motivation during my more humiliating moments in class now.)

So after investing far more than can be merely written off (after I quitting from fear of more things than I care to name here) in the leotard, tights and shoes, I crept into the brightly illuminated but cavernously chilly, mirrored room. Did I mention the mirror? A really big one. The music began to play as I clung with an iron grip to the barre along the wall and tried to replicate the graceful movements of Miss Emily, our instructor. That ^*%#^&#* mirror heartlessly exposed each and every minor (okay, major!) deviation from Miss Emily's efforlessly graceful pose. She seemed to have muscles the Creator neglected to give me. That first class was difficult for me both physically and emotionally.

However, I've found myself standing a little taller and using my core more often during normal activities. Today was my third class. The mirror is still huge, but it's a helpful tool to identify where my body isn't in proper position. It also reflects when I do actually reach a graceful pose. No, it does not feed my denial, but as I am willing to accept and embrace myself exactly where I am---in this present moment---I can enjoy the incremental improvements I do see. And applaud them. After all, muscles have memory. Practice builds strength. I only wish I hadn't waited so long to approach the mirror.