Joy in the Water

The benefits of sharing studio space are numerous:  encouragement, accountability, instruction, inspiration and critique, to name a few. I have the privilege of sharing space with six other artists. We are a diverse group including painters in a variety of mediums, those who collage, recycle artists and even one fiber artist complete with antique 4x4 loom. Our studio schedules do not always coincide, but we all usually come together the first Friday of every month between 6pm-9pm for the monthly Downtown Bellingham Art Walk. Next Friday, August 7, is the August Art Walk.

Many of you know I have been recently working on creating women. Next Friday, many of those pieces will be available for viewing for the first time. The last few ladies in this process have become a series I've entitled the Gaudy Ladies, due to their vibrant primary colors. Most of my ladies have simply been faces, but one of my studio mates challenged me to create a full scale Gaudy Lady on a 5' x 2.5' (really BIG) canvas I had stashed away. After resisting for longer than I care to admit, I began the work I have currently titled "Song of Joy"this week.

It began with collage, using sacred sheet music from my grandmother.

After that I added a sheer coat of yellow as an under painting. I then added my lady.

I particularly like her hair at this point. Everything else is up for grabs...
Next came the flowers I knew she needed.

Yesterday I began the work on the background.

I expect to get her finished this weekend and have her hanging for Friday's Art Walk. Come out and see how she ends up.

This is not something I would have tackled before my association with my studio mates. My fear of failure would have kept me from even trying. In fact, I must regularly tell my Inner Critic (I.C.) that this is simply an experiment... That it doesn't have to be perfect... Or the best... Or sell! I simply must continue doing the work.

So far my I.C. has been held at bay even though he is rarely silent. Perhaps I will surpass his ugly expectations one more time.

Please don't let your nasty, negative, nit-picking Inner Critic keep you from even sticking your toe in the water of your dreams. Thank him (or her!) for his opinion, but you are choosing to risk all those terrible things just this once. That you want to see for yourself what will happen.

And you can even tell him that Jenny thinks he may be over-reacting, the water of your dreams is truly magical and worth ricking a little splash.

I think your dreams are yours for the making. I think that is why they were given to you. Go for it!

Because I love you. Bunches.

Sunset in the Shallows

Learning to be comfortable in my own skin, to be simply me, has been a process. As a child I was a daughter, sister, cousin, student, etc. My identity was defined by my relationships and activities. Fast forward to my twenties. I became wife, mother, minister, etc. Again my identity was in my relationships and activities. Later in life I morphed into grandmother, teacher, artist, etc. Each relationship and activity served to shape me into the woman I am today.

That said, when I began my journey of self-discovery, I felt very alone. Duped by the paths of good I had chosen over time. Angry and blaming anyone I could think of. Perhaps I did a little individuating in my early 50's (something more appropriate to the teen years). Necessary steps toward maturity taken late, but I began with baby steps to take responsibility for my own life. Choices for joy. Peace. Creativity.

I had to learn to walk my life alone. Of course I still have relationships and activities, but they no longer define my sum total. I have looked into the abyss and seen that my God goes with me. I am not alone when I am alone.

Dear Ones, we may not always enjoy all the parts of our lives all the time, but we always have choices. That is both our greatest gift and can be our deepest grief. So take the next 24 hours and evaluate your choices past and present. Then turn them over and choose again. I know you will know what to do. You have that in you.

And I love you. Bunches.

You Had a Bad Day

I agree with some of you: yesterday (or the day before) was horrible. Memorably so. And with those kind of days comes the temptation to lay down in the dirt and give up. To dredge up all the rotten days long past and stew in all the unfairness and unkindness and misery. The temptation is to make those kinds of days the whole story of our lives. I have faced that temptation countless times. And I will sadly confess to spending more time in the mud of despair than I'd like to admit.

I hate to be the one to say it, but bad days are guaranteed to come. Truly. And crying over them is appropriate. Really. So go ahead and grieve. Don't put a band-aid over things and pretend it's all better before it is. Let yourself experience the pain and loss and sadness.  ...And then let it go.

Don't let that one unbelievably bad day (week...year) be the the whole story of your life. We get to choose which lines and chapters of our lives define us. And, precious one, you story is far from finished. You have so many more experiences ahead. I'm looking forward to hearing your new chapters, to seeing what new strengths and insights grow out of  these challenges you're walking through right this minute. Really.

I certainly don't understand the whys of bad days. And I refuse to minimize how difficult some days can be. But as you're trudging through this particularly lousy day, please remember this is not your story's final chapter.

So keep me posted. Because I love you. Bunches.