More Flame Fanning

   Now that we've mastered the tips (oh, sure) from the last post and included them in our daily routines, here are a few more tips for adding new spark to our relationships from the article from November 2010 Bottom Line by psychotherapist, Barton Goldsmith.

First three hints from the section called Classic Connection Builders:

Meet for lunch.

 Getting together in the middle of the workdays offers a different dimension to both your lives. Pack a picnic basket, brown-bag it or meet at a restaurant.

Make dinner together.

Food is sensual and preparing it together can be powerfully bonding. Then eat by candlelight.

Write your partner a thank-you note...

every time (oh dear) he/she does something special for you, no matter how small. As you are writing, allow yourself to feel deserving of admiration, and let your heart fill with gratitude for your lover.

   And here are the last two tips to fan those fires. From the section called Fast and Simple Adventures:

Schedule an"unplan" day.

Agree to get up on a weekend morning, and go somewhere neither of you has previously chosen. Get in the car, flip a coin, let it land on the local map and start driving in that direction. When you see something that looks interesting, stop and check it out. Have lunch, and decide whether to keep going or drive back.

Take a different route home. 

And finally:

Create an adoration list.

Ask your partner to write down seven (7) non-material things that would make him/her feel cherished by you, and make a similar list yourself. (The examples the author gives include being served breakfast in bed, going sailing together, celebrating the date of your first date and getting a back rub without expectations of anything in return.)

   So enjoy the process as you (and I) experiment with some of the above tips. I've found the ten second hug mentioned in the previous post o be extremely helpful in reconnecting with the Professor at the end of a long day. I'd love get feedback on how this post might have affected you. Or which one you have successfully tried.