Giving and Receiving

I was 25 years old before I learned to receive compliments. Prior to that I would verbally deflect any compliment. One day, my then hairdresser-friend, explained that doing that was like hurling a gift back at the giver.  I had to practice smiling and saying, "Thank you." I now respond gratefully to a compliment, whether I agree with it or not. Sometimes I can even feel the love a compliment comes wrapped in.  However, gifts can still throw me.

This week I was given two incredible and unexpected gifts. Out of the blue, my "brother from-another-mother,"  Tree-Mover, and his wife, Blossoms, replaced my broken Canon 20D with a brand new Canon 6D. Blossoms also made certain I realized this was a "no strings" gift, simply because they loved me.  Oh, dear...

Later in the week I discovered my insurance would not cover all the costs of a procedure from the specialist I'd been referred to. The extra cost was more than I could pay, so I had decided not to go ahead with it. When I told my friend, the Scientist, about this, she reached in her purse and handed me a wad of cash to help pay for it. Because she loves me. Oh, dear...

Both gifts overwhelmed me, because they were the things I needed but was unable get. And in both instances I was overcome with a discomfort that nearly over-shadowed my gratitude. What is it about loving actions, especially those we cannot reciprocate in kind, that can make us so uncomfortable? That it is "better to give than receive" is certainly true. Receiving is humbling. So is being loved.

But healthy relationships are not simply about giving. Healthy relationships are about giving AND receiving. I guess I'm learning about healthy relationships these days. I hope you are, too.

Regardless, don't forget that I love you. Bunches.