Upon reflection, it is apparent I believed that if I did everything the "right" way, I would be righteous, holy, successful and happy, although not necessarily in that particular order. I made it my life's mission to discover what those "right" ways were and to rigidly work out my life according to those ways. And I harshly judged the rest of the world by my unbending standards, finding them widely missing the mark. And as my son, the Handsome Ginger, once described it, "She spent her time telling everyone everything was fine. And she was the only one fooled." How right he was.
Fast forward 30 years. I discovered "fine" is the acronym for "fouled up, insecure, neurotic and emotional." Yep, that about describes it. Bummer!
But here's the deal. I don't have to continue pretending everything is fine. I can ask for help. I can share my thoughts and questions with friends. I can journal. I can pray. I am free to make different choices once I face that the ones I've made to date aren't working for me. And so can you, dear one. Hope lives. Hope lives!
Change begins with one simple step. Change continues as we take one simple step after the other. Don't look at how far we have to go. Just look for the next step and pray for the courage to take it.
Dare to make the change your heart longs for. Move toward it. I can't wait to hear how it turns out for you. And if you need someone to pray, I'll be that person for you. Keep me posted.
And remember, I love you. Bunches.
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