I've been thinking about a sentence in one I recently finished by author Louise Penny about safety becoming captivity. I know this was the case in my life. At one point in my life, I was unable to go anywhere but the church, the grocery store or the homes of friends and family. I can still remember the day I decided to go for a picnic lunch near a local beach. I didn't have the courage to even get out of the car. I sat in the driver's seat with the window half open and ate my picnic. Laughable I know, but that was my beginning, my first baby step out of captivity.
Since that time I have had many, many wider adventures. A solo trip over the ocean to meet my niece, Megan, in London. A two year adventure into art school. A solo photography camping trip down the Washington and Oregon coasts. These adventures, especially the school, seemed scarey to me at the time. (At school, my fight or flight would kick in every time I had to speak to anyone, taking the blood from my brain and making it impossible to string together a sentence. I am so grateful to my fellow students for their patience each time I tried to speak.)
The point is, we can allow our fears to keep us from the lives we are meant to live. Lives of joy and fulfillment and creativity and wonder. I did exactly that for the first half of my life. And I always had what seemed like a good excuse, a sensible reason to play it safe. Not make waves. Not risk rejection.
So dear ones, even when you may be shaking in your Brave Girl boots and your Big Girl panties, dare to be the woman you know deep, deep down inside your heart you would love to be. Don't give in to the fear and let it rob you of your life as long as I did. Break out of your prison. Have your version of my car picnic. Take that first baby step. I know you can do it.
Because I love you. Bunches.
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